Why (most) Events are Crap
Harold Macmillan, when asked what was the greatest influence on his time as Prime Minister, replied ‘Events, dear boy, events’. With elections taking place in most major markets this year, political strategists will no doubt concur with this quote - although Macmillan was probably thinking about the Suez Crisis rather than his local chamber of commerce monthly gathering.
While the economic development world watches these elections and global events with hopes and fears, an increasing number of business events are taking up so much time and resources at the moment.
There are the mega-events that continue to attract economic developers and inward investment agencies in eye-watering numbers:
MIPIM in France had 20,000 delegates, 472 speakers and 300 stands, each with several events each day
UKREiiF in Leeds had 16,000 delegates, 1,250 speakers, 50 stages and 150 events
London Tech Week has 45,000 delegates, 350 speakers and 70 events
Away from these beasts of the event calendar, there’s dozens of business events to target every week in most towns and cities.
You know the drill. You see an event with great speakers. You sign up and pop it into your diary. Then comes the logistical stuff that you don’t always think through… Can I get there in time? Shall I drive or take the train? What started out as a 1 or 2 hour event soon becomes a full day on the road. But that’s fine if there’s value to be had.
It doesn’t matter whether you are one of a dozen attendees or several thousand, every event has the potential to spark conversations, explore innovative ideas and create learning opportunities in a fun environment… but far too many disappoint and fail to live up to the hype.
Here’s my top ten irritations with events:
“We’re going to start with an ice-breaker… everybody on their feet!”
Please no… just no… never!
- “Welcome our headline speaker, the minister for whatever.”
Politicians usually rush in ten minutes late, read something prepared by a junior researcher before rushing off again with no Q and A. Their job title doesn’t make them a headliner.
- “Let me tell you a little about my company.”
CEOs can be as bad. By all means tell me a story with a relevant point, intrigue me, inform me or make me laugh… but if you’re reading a script from the About Us page of your website, then I’ll switch off and start scrolling on my phone.
- “We’ll just dim the lights and play you a five minute video.”
(that I could’ve watched at home). If you want to show me a video… just send me a link. You’ve got me in person, so make the most of it.
- “We’re now going to hear from the people who sponsored the coffee-break.”
I love a good sales pitch as much as the next person, but please don’t dilute and pollute your agenda in return for a few hundred quid for crap coffee.
- “I’m sorry but we’ve run out of time for questions.”
Argh… so annoying. You set the agenda. You control the speakers and their timings. If you don’t create space for meaningful interactions, just send me a video of the presentations instead.
- “Next PowerPoint slide please.”
Bullets are meant for guns, not slides. If you’re still using word-laden slides with bullet points and clip-art, you’re guilty of causing death by PowerPoint. Show me a few fantastic photographs, or just tell me your story without slides. And tell it inside 18 minutes like every great TED talk ever made.
- Panellists sat on bar stools…
It’s bad enough being a panellist but having to climb onto 4 foot high bar stools like a performing seal can be an awkward and unedifying spectacle. It’s unnatural and not conducive to great performance, unless you’re a boy band from the ‘90s.
- “Can we just have a show of hands…”
No you can’t. I’ve not come here to be a prop to prove a point.
- “Please join us for a glass of wine/beer/whiskey at our networking reception.”
If you’re offering alcohol, please provide alcohol-free drinks too (and I don’t mean water!) Too many business events fail to recognise the increasing popularity of AF drinks, there’s no shortage of great options.
So how else can economic development events be improved?
Here’s a few thoughts:
- Be more TED
The TED and TEDx format is phenomenally successful because it places interesting and provoking content at its heart. It doesn’t matter what their job title is, just secure the most engaging speakers. Give them a tight brief and give them no more than 18 minutes.
- Put your audience first
Understand what attendees want to get out of it. Why are they there? The most precious commodity is time, so having someone give you a day or even a few hours of their busy week should be respected and not squandered.
- Link people like LinkedIn
Networking is one of the key drivers for event attendance, so provide opportunities to put people together, before, during and after the event. Maybe use LinkedIn for this. Share delegate lists in advance. Create a conducive environment for interaction - not everyone is comfortable walking up and making small talk. Use big name badges and colour code delegates to make it easier to target.
- Bigger isn’t always better
Give me a highly focussed roundtable discussion with decision-makers and influencers any day over sitting in a dark auditorium with hundreds of sleepy delegates. If you want or need scale, then a successful event projected well on LinkedIn will give you the big numbers your stakeholders crave, but for the actual event, small is beautiful.
- “There just aren’t enough events to attend” said nobody, ever
Maybe, when you are planning your next marketing strategy, consider whether you need to organise or host an event to extract maximum value from it. You get far more bang for your buck by piggy-backing on other people’s events than trying to attract people to yours.
Right, I’m off to scan another lanyard. See you at the coffee break.